Witty Keychain Quotations
 

• I need more money, power, and less SHIT from you people.
• We'll get along fine as soon as you realize I'm God.
• Discourage inbreeding; ban country music.
• Life is short.  Don't be a dick.
• Yoo hoo!!  Here I am, at the bottom of your purse!
• Starlight Starbright where the hell is Mr.Right
• To some its a six-pack, to me it's a support Group
• I majored in liberal arts, would you like fries w/that.
• I majored in philosophy,  would you like fries w/that.
• I want my man to have a VCR: Very Cute Rear
• I have PMS and a gun. Did you have something to say?
• I'm 17.  Give me your credit cards, give me your keys and get
  out of my way!
• I haven't found Mr Right but i have found Mr Cheap, Mr SLeazy
  and Mr Wrong.
• You're just jealous cause the voices talk to me.
• It's Miss Bitch to you.
• Lost your cat?  Look under my tires.
• How do you keep an idot amused?  Turn over. . .  (on both sides
  of keychain)
• I suffer from PMS... Putting up with Men's Shit
• I am so good in bed that when i have sex even the neighbors need
  a cigarette.
• If you're rich, I'm single.
• Men suffer from PMS too... Pretending to be Macho Studs
• If you shower in your clothes, it shows you're crazy. If you
  shower nude, it show's your nuts!!!
• I'm immature, unorganized, irresponsible, lazy, and LOUD... but
  I'm FUN.
• If you don't like my driving, then get off the sidewalk!
• If it has tires or testicles, it's gonna piss you off. - or - If
  it has tires or tits, it's gonna piss you off.
• Behind every great man is a great woman, and behind every great
  woman is some guy staring at her ass!
• Bury me upside down so the world can kiss my ass
• Birthdays only come once a year... aren't you gald you're not a birthday?
• Give me a quarter or I'll touch you!
• To some it's half empty, To some it's half full.  To me it's time for a beer run!
• (Written in really tiny writing) Nosey little fucker, aren't you?
• (This is a visual gag.  It's a condom inside plastic with the caption)
  "In case of emergency, break glass." (What's really funny is in tiny 
  writing underneath) "Not recommended for use"
• I am so broke, I can't even pay attention.
• I am not a BITCH...     I am *the* BITCH.
• I was put on this planet to make your life miserable.
• I'm in touch with my inner bitch.
• I am trying to graduate college with a 4.0 (blood alcohol level).
• I do what the voices in my head tell me.
• Looking for Mr. Right *crossed out* Mr. Wonderful *crossed out* Mr. Coffee!
• Heartbreaker, looking for next victim.
• In God we trust.  All others we monitor.
• That dress just screams Crack Whore.
• Not all women are annoying... some are dead.
• The nuns made me dress this way.
• You!  Out of the gene pool!
• You must be this tall to ride this ride.